What's Italian? A simple guide to Italian table culture.
We all have our own ideas and misconceptions about foreign cultures, some are pretty accurate, while some of them almost cross the limits to what is acceptable and what can be considered rude or judgmental. So, if you’ve never traveled to a particular country, how do you know whether your expectations are in line with reality or completely off?? The thing is, many Italian-American restaurants in the USA have developed their own cuisine and trends, making it quite disorienting for people, who can no longer distinguish what is a national custom, as opposed to the choice of a few creative individuals. Who was the inventor of Alfredo sauce and how did its popularity spread among American palates? Who decided to dip the calamari in marinara sauce? Perhaps a hungry American college kid who ran out of pasta? And what about “pepperoni” being a cured meat??? The translation in Italian is simply “bell peppers”.
Here is an essential guide to Italian culinary culture so you can compare your ideas of what you’re used to thinking is “real Italian” as opposed to what really… is Italian. Knowing more about the country you’re about to visit will help you avoid frustrating misunderstandings and make your stay much more enjoyable.
Things Italians actually don't do…
1. Putting Parmesan cheese on top of Pizza (or salad).
Why don’t we do that? Because there is already Mozzarella cheese... Parmesan is only going to add more salt and cover the flavors. Also, try putting Parmesan cheese on mushrooms or any type of seafood dish and Italians will look at you like you’re a criminal.
2. Drinking coffee during lunch or dinner.
We usually have an espresso (caffe') after a meal, while cappuccino is only a breakfast beverage. Caffellatte is also consumed only at breakfast because it’s considered too “rich”. Chasing your steak with a gulp of milk doesn’t sound as good as a nice red wine. The perfect compromise after a meal is the “macchiato” (stained), a cup of espresso with just a shot of steamed milk.
3. Drinking wine outside of a meal.
With the exception of Prosecco, a bubbly white wine, which can be enjoyed as an “aperitivo” before dinner, Italians see wine as a complement to their food, as well as food a complement to their wine. Italian wines are very dry and somewhat difficult to drink on their own, but their personality shines when savored with a tasty meal. Seeing another Italian drinking wine without food is considered tacky.
4. Dipping bread in oil and vinegar before a meal.
Yes, I know.. you're thinking "But THAT'S exactly what Italian restaurants serve in the U.S.!!", however, it's still an Italian-American thing. In Italy this is somewhat looked down upon, as if you're "starving" or trying to fill up so you don’t have to order as much food. You won’t find bread served with butter either.
5. Putting garlic on pizza.
There are no vampires in Italy so there is no need to do this, unless you just don’t like to have people around you, period.
6. Over-using garlic.
We use it very lightly and often remove the whole clove before serving sauces. You will notice how very little garlic is used in our cuisine.
7. Doing shots of any hard liqueur.
We see liqueurs as "digestives" (aids in digestion.. especially after a big meal, you can consider some of them a sort of "liquid plumber", to give you a better idea) so we like to savor them taking our time, enjoying them with friends at the dinner table. Popular ones are Grappa, Amaro, Sanbuca, Limoncello. The first three can also be added to espresso, making it a "caffe' corretto" (corrected coffee).
8. "Italian salad dressing", fettuccine Alfredo, garlic breadsticks, spaghetti & meatballs, capellini pasta, and other unfortunate culinary misunderstandings.
These things are not traditionally Italian and you won't find them on your trip. If you do, you may want to go to another restaurant for dinner as the one you found specializes in serving tourists. A note about capellini pasta: we do have this thin type of spaghetti, but it’s usually made for soup, as it doesn’t hold it’s firmness as other types of pasta, which must be rigorously served al dente. You will never find capellini served as a side dish with your entrée (just the thought would make Garibaldi’s Great-Grandmother turn in her grave).
9. Eating lasagna in a restaurant.
Lasagna is typically a dish made at home, which pretty much any common Italian soul is able to make. Since the BEST lasagna will always be the one Mamma makes, eating any other will just result in disappointment. Ricotta cheese, mozzarella, and plain tomato sauce do not go in lasagna. Ok, I'll give you that, in some areas in the South of the country ricotta is used, but most Italians use "besciamella" (white sauce) and "ragu" (a meat-based bolognese sauce) instead.
10. To-Go cups and Doggie-bags.
Since our consumption of coffee (aka espresso) occurs for the most part standing at a counter at the nearest café on our way to work or after lunch, there is no need for a to-go cup. The amount of coffee Italians drink is a fraction compared to that of Americans – there is no Starbucks Venti cup, but rather a small 1-ounce shot. We also usually don’t take home what is left over after a meal. Why? I don’t know. For some reason Italians think “If you really liked what you were eating, you would’ve finished it. If you didn’t like it, then why are you taking it home? If you liked it, but didn’t finish it, perhaps you are trying to get another meal out of it, so you’re a penny-pincher.” In any case, sometimes it’s hard to understand what goes on in an Italian’s head, but we don’t need to get into psychoanalysis at this moment…
11. Eating protein for breakfast.
Italians do not consider breakfast a meal. We get up in a hurry, have a cup of coffee at home, then rush to work, then perhaps stop at the nearest café or pasticceria (pastry shop) for a cappuccino and a croissant (with custard, jelly, chocolate.. or plain, but always sweet). That said, most hotels and lodgings will try to accommodate as best as they can an international crowd by serving cheese, ham, bread, fruit, yogurt, juices, eggs, and other things that foreign people are used to having. So, just keep an open mind when traveling and try to ask yourself “If I had a hotel and had people come from all over the world, what would I serve? What would I serve Chinese people? And Italians? And Japanese? And South-Americans? Would I try to accommodate each one according to their own culture or do the best I can and offer an American breakfast?”
12. Other things you won’t commonly find: King-size beds, dryers, window screens, nose tissues (in hotels), wash-cloths, Walmart, Walgreens.
Sometimes there is a reason and sometimes there isn’t for the way we do things. As most Italians live in condos and small homes, they prefer to have “modular” furniture, double beds (that can be separated or easily moved), and small appliances that are energy-efficient. You will find a lot of fluorescent light bulbs, as electricity is very expensive in Italy (the reason why we don't use dryers). As far as wash-cloths go, we do have them, but you usually find them next to the bidet, therefore, not for removing make-up… As much as it's convenient to have a one-stop-shop as Walmart or Walgreens, a lot of Italians still believe that a pharmacy is only for medical necessities and not the place where you'd purchase chocolate, dog food, birthday cards, and milk.
13. Italian food.
Believe it or not, Italians don’t eat Italian food. To us, food is just food, and the food we make and eat is the one we’ve grown up with. The food our mothers and our mothers’ mothers made for generations. This is why there is no “national Italian cuisine” because every region, every village, every home has its own tradition. There are specific crops, cheeses, wines, and dishes that are very regional and cannot be found in other areas of the country. This is why I always recommend travelers to let go of their pre-conceived notions of Italian food and ask for the local specialty that is available in the town they’re visiting. For example, cannoli is a dessert made with ricotta cheese only available in the region of Sicily. Biscotti di Prato (almond cookies) are usually served as dessert in Tuscany. Limoncello is a typical lemon-liqueur of the Naples area. Spaghetti alla Carbonara is traditional of Rome. Polenta is a classic side dish served all over the Northern regions and the Alps.
14. Serving pasta as a side dish.
Italian menus are composed of: Antipasto (appetizer), Primo (1st course – usually rice, soup, or pasta), Secondo (2nd course – usually meat or fish), Contorno (side), Dolce (dessert). You don’t need to have all of them, you could just pick two, or just one. The important thing is that you keep the order (i.e. have an Antipasto and a Secondo, but not the other way around). Keep in mind that everything is a’ la carte in Italy, meaning that sides are not included with the entrée. One last note about pasta, if you are going to enjoy a nice plate of spaghetti, don’t be surprised if you don’t find a spoon sitting on your table. The reason is because, unlike in the old days, modern Italians rely on their fancy “wrist-twisting” skills to wrap the pasta around their fork… with some practice you’ll be able to do the same!
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